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Thursday, September 6, 2007
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   Thursday, September 6, 2007

How to spot an Online Dating scammer
There are many scare stories in the media about people who got conned and ended up sending cash to people they met online. If you're new to online dating, though, it may be hard to believe that there are people out there who make a living out of abusing the system and scamming people out of money. Luckily, it's actually quite easy to stay safe and avoid being scammed. Here is some useful information to refer to ensure a safe online dating experience.

Too good to be true?
As a general rule, if somebody's profile looks too good to be true, chances are it is.
If you spend any time at all on dating sites, you will have seen them – women who look like underwear models who describe themselves as "God fearing, caring, loving and submissive". Their hobbies usually involves activities such as cooking and cleaning. The men describe themselves as "honest" and "gentle" and their pictures look just as posed. Their descriptions are usually full of lists of adjectives, obviously taken from a dictionary or a thesaurus, coupled with declarations of wanting to find true love.
You may get messages from people like this, often using overly-affectionate terms straight away and declaring their undying love to you. Usually their level of English would be quite poor. Such messages sound like a dream, but sadly a "relationship" like that is more likely to turn into your worst nightmare. Be very wary. Underwear models and well-off businessmen/male models are not likely to act in this way both online and off!
Never send money
Not all scammers are as obvious as the ones detailed above. Unfortunately, with people becoming wiser, scammers have had to change the way they work. Nowadays, some of the pictures scammers use can look like perfectly normal people.
The telltale sign is usually their actions. A scammer wants your money and sooner or later will try to get it off you by means of a sob story. Usual stories are of women trapped in hotels and needing to pay the bill before they are allowed to leave, stories about owing money to shifty businessmen and stories about wanting to come and meet you in your own country but not having any money.
In all cases, it's highly advisable to never send money to anyone you've just met online and be highly suspicious of sending money even a few months down the line.

Report and ask for advice
Any reputable dating site will have a moderating team in place who are there to keep the site safe. It is in their interest to keep scammers off the site. If someone has approached you and you are not certain whether he/she is a scammer, contact the site moderators and ask. They will not report your question to the other user, but have access to all of that user's messages, so will be able to tell if the person has been "working" other people at the same time as you. They will also have more experience at dealing with scammers so would be able to spot them quicker.

Be Cautious, be reasonable
Sometimes when you have been chatting to the person you think is your perfect match, it's easy to ignore the warning signs and refuse to believe this person is trying to con you out of money. This is why you should take extra care and listen to the advice of someone impartial. It's better to learn the bad news before you part with your money and not after.

Suzy Allen works for Loopylove - Online Dating


Can You Really Trust The Person You Are Dating Online?
Heather is a 42 year old American lady. Divorced with two children, she decided to try online dating to possibly get a new partner. She signed up with one of the popular dating sites and set up a profile. The anonymity and security of online dating appealed to her and she hoped it would work out for her.
In a matter of days, she was contacted by a man who also claimed to be looking for a love relationship. The man was handsome, also divorced and in his mid-forties. He claimed to be an engineer living in the United States, but was sent on an assignment by his company to Nigeria.
They began to chat and exchange mails, and soon began a relationship online. He sent flowers to her from time to time, sent poems everyday, called her up twice a day. Heather felt that she had finally found the man of her dreams. Surely,this was the perfect relationship that she had wanted since her divorce. Here was a man who was caring and who showed it. She readily agreed to his proposal when he called her over the phone and asked her to marry him. They began to make plans to get married as soon as he returned to the United States.
Heather felt all was going on well with their plans until he made a distress call. He had been involved in a road accident and had been hospitalized. Could she help out with some money to pay the bills? Well, she did help. A sequence of events followed afterwards. Weeks later, she discovered that the man she had fallen in love with was not the real person she had thought he was. She had just been taken by the newest form of online scams that is just showing up
the romance or dating scam.
She was heartbroken. She had lost thousands of dollars to this man. She was behind on her mortgage and was in debt to the bank. But painful as the experience was, it could not be compared to the emotional pain that she had to go through.
It would take many months before she would get over the whole experience, which she described as a nightmare. Heather is not the only one that is a victim of this new form of scam. Many thousands of people online are losing millions of dollars monthly to these scams. But due to the secretive nature of the internet, most people that have been scammed this way are either too embarassed or ashamed to talk about their experience. In a particular finding, 145 men and women reported that they lost over $1 million in two months in 2005. In that same finding, thousands of people refused to disclose any information about their losses.
The worst aspect of these scams has been the emotional pains the victims have had to go through. Many of the victims I talked with reported that it took them many months before they could get back to their normal life.
A lady told me that she cried for many nights after she realized that she had been scammed. She had thought she had the ideal lover,and had become so emotionally attached to him. Realizing that it was all a lie was devastating to her. The fact that she had been in deep love with a fake person was what pained her the most.
This is the same experience as many of the victims I related with have had.The effects of the scams have had so much of a devastating effect on them all. Medical doctors, lawyers, paralegals and other professionals have been known to lose money to these scams just as housewives, students, factory workers and other low-income earners have. The scams are no respecter of status or race. Not even religious people have been spared from this growing menace.
Till this moment, thousands of people are out there trying to get over these scams . But even as those who have been scammed are trying to get on with their lives, many more thousands are being set up for a scam right now.
Online dating has come to stay with us all, and many people have found true love through this avenue. Online dating has produced many successful love stories. It is a medium that if properly used, with the right education, can be a means of bringing love into the lives of many.
However, it is apparent that it is also increasingly being used for the wrong purposes. Given the high success rate of the scams however, the best way to deal with them is to educate yourself about them.
You need to learn how to separate the wheat from the chaff. Knowing the methods that the scammers use will help you not to fall for their antics. You will be able to know what to do to protect yourself and still be able to date successfully.
As the saying goes, prevention is better than the cure.
You can read more about his findings at http://elovedeceptions.com


How to Seduce Her and Get Her to Trust You - ONLINE!
Before you start looking for the woman that you want, make a clear idea of the type of woman you are after in your mind.
Now you can set some specific details, which are more important for you, like: she has to be a good mother, a sexy blonde or a smart brunet, the housekeeper type of woman or a career woman... and don't forget the age and the relation type you're after.
This will allow you to choose the right online dating site for you (www.eBridex.com is a new one and might work well for you). Then, you will have to make your profile as complete and realistic as you can. Take time to view some women profiles that contain the specific details you have fixed and pick one, maximum two of them.
If you are interested in more than two women, never, but never talk online with more of them in the same time. Women can feel if you don't give them your complete attention.
Now cames the hard part, and the most important: the approach part: Don't forget! In online dating the most important thing is to GET HER TO TRUST YOU!
If you selected a site that gives you the possibility to contact women by e-mail, your first e-mail is the most important. Introduce yourself and say something specific, that is special about HER (you should read her profile carefully for this).
Tell her the location on the web where she can find your profile, and be direct and ask for an online talk (date) to get to know you each other better. Don't write a long email.
If you have fixed an online date, do not be late! By doing this you will lose her from the very begining.
When you're approaching her online, after you break the ice with an open question, the very next thing you should say or do is to introduce yourself. Just use your first name then allow the woman you're talking to to offer you her name (if she is using a nickname in her profile). Pause for a moment. If she doesn't offer it, ask her what her name is. Then, and this is very important, use her name in the very next sentence you are writing to her. Using her name works like magic to make her more interested in you.
Never talk about your ex in the first dates and don't forget the women don't want to be a shoulder for you to cry on. Be positive and enthusiastic. Make her laugh and feel good about spending time talking with you.
The next thing you want to say or do is compliment her. Call attention to some detail about her, and flatter her in a totally positive way. Be sure to avoid obvious compliments at all costs.
Also, always find ways to agree with her. Never disagree with a woman when you first meet her. One exception, which works all the time is if she initiates a conversation about sex with you.
One time when I was talking with a women online she started to tell me that she would like to see me only with a towell on me and I said to her that "Hey.. don't you think things are moving a little too fast in this relationship?" :). At the first time we date she confesed me that she only came to the date because I have impressed her with that line. Imagine that. :)
Keep in mind that if a woman likes you or would like to know you better, she will give you free information to follow up on. If she's not attracted to you, she won't give you much of anything and it will be very difficult to maintain a decent conversation with her.
At first time, don't talk more then one hour or one hour and a half, then pretend that you have to go, but don't forget to tell her that you have a great time talking to her and never be shy about asking her for her phone number. Be direct. You can say something like, "I have to be going now. But I'd love to hear your voice, sometime. Can I call you?" Without the all important phone number, you will never get anywhere with a woman.
Do not call her in the same day you have talk with her online, suspans can be healty sometimes. :)
Good luck, and be smart! She will be "on fire" just to get to know you better.
Hey! A great woman is waiting for You right now at eBridex.com.